I was nearly attacked by a kamakaze hummingbird today. I didn't see it, or hear it, or even feel it, but while tending to my plants (Of which, sadly, there are much fewer than only a month ago) I was startled from silent musings by a sort of childish squeal. I turned to find the source of said sound and faced my boss who, apparently, was already part way through whatever she was saying. How these people expect to compete with the plants for my attention, I don't know. This was, essentially, that a hmming bird had almost flown right into my head just a second before.
There is something off with the winged creatures out here. They are either suicidal or dangerous thrill seekers. But not 2 days will pass before one flies right into the car at 60 miles an hour. Oh, they miss it, everytime. *knock on wood*, but some days they come within, i swear, a few meager inches.
And of course, time slows down then, like it will in a car accident. And ill throw my hand up to my mouth, gasp heavily, and hold my breath ntil I know it made it out okay. If Im passenger, Ill close my eyes.
I want to get out of the car and yell at them like some old man bitching about the teenagers on his lawn. "Damn kids!"
It must be the lake air. Or all the vineyards.
A random thought came to mind just now. Or a flashback, rather. Random, all the same.
I remember sitting in a career counselors office at the community college I briefly attended, and for some readon the career counelor bagan talking to me about a student he currently had. She was studying to be a vet and paying her way with stripping.
He said to me "I tried to explain to her that she'd never make as much as a vet as she did as a stripper..."
Yes, well. There it is.
And now I must learn about a missing pyramid. The History Channel demands so.
I abide. For science.
"See the cat? See the cradle?"
Upon having woken this morning slightly more sober than when I went to bed, I remain determined still that a Ninja bootcamp, ala Batman Begins, is just what I need. Yes! To learn the way of the Invisible! I yearn for this.
Only slightly deterred by the fact that my meager means will not get me to the snowy seclusions of foriegn montains, I plan for an extended trip out west to convene with my instigators, I mean, Ninja masters.
I must first be put in full view of my greater discomforts so as to learn and appreciate my motivations for invisibility. Face fears first, battle them silently thereafter.
I've already got the all black attire. But that is a little bland, I think. And so I shall add to the mix my rainbow striped bandadna to hide the nature of my hair. And, of course, those flat ninja shoes just won't do. Its not a problem with them being flat, per se, but surely, a kick to the face with some stylish footwear would make a greater impression.
The kicked will awake later and ponder the lesson bestowed on them. All the while thinking "I'll give that Ninja this...they sure were stylin'. I'd be wise to consider such a beating from such fashionable shoes!"
Yes, this is what I hope to leave people with on my blur through the West.
No time for spellcheck, Ive excursions to plan.
Only slightly deterred by the fact that my meager means will not get me to the snowy seclusions of foriegn montains, I plan for an extended trip out west to convene with my instigators, I mean, Ninja masters.
I must first be put in full view of my greater discomforts so as to learn and appreciate my motivations for invisibility. Face fears first, battle them silently thereafter.
I've already got the all black attire. But that is a little bland, I think. And so I shall add to the mix my rainbow striped bandadna to hide the nature of my hair. And, of course, those flat ninja shoes just won't do. Its not a problem with them being flat, per se, but surely, a kick to the face with some stylish footwear would make a greater impression.
The kicked will awake later and ponder the lesson bestowed on them. All the while thinking "I'll give that Ninja this...they sure were stylin'. I'd be wise to consider such a beating from such fashionable shoes!"
Yes, this is what I hope to leave people with on my blur through the West.
No time for spellcheck, Ive excursions to plan.
Peace, Yo
My brother said to me something once that really stuck in my mind. He does this alot. And I was thinking of it this morning as I puttered diligently around my house. "In my experience, once you get an idea in your head, it's pretty much decided"
And I thought, Damn, is that what im like? One devoted impulse after another? I was slightly offended at first. No, not offended. Taken aback. But then, that's what ideas are for, no?
Thats how I like to roll. Or rather, It's why I roll.
Love moss as I do, Id rather see it passing under me in a blur of seemingly endless varieties and touch it if only briefly than to have it grow over my eyes and leave me blind.
On another note, I located kitten heels the other day. This pleases me. Polka dotted ones, no less. Ask and ye shall receive, the Universe has generously offered me. I should have asked for a transmogrifier. Or a teleporter. Hmmm...Is it too late?
Im happy to take the shoes, either way.
And I thought, Damn, is that what im like? One devoted impulse after another? I was slightly offended at first. No, not offended. Taken aback. But then, that's what ideas are for, no?
Thats how I like to roll. Or rather, It's why I roll.
Love moss as I do, Id rather see it passing under me in a blur of seemingly endless varieties and touch it if only briefly than to have it grow over my eyes and leave me blind.
On another note, I located kitten heels the other day. This pleases me. Polka dotted ones, no less. Ask and ye shall receive, the Universe has generously offered me. I should have asked for a transmogrifier. Or a teleporter. Hmmm...Is it too late?
Im happy to take the shoes, either way.
Vibrations
Change is in the air. Its rolling like a wave thru lives of loved ones. Peopleare wanting something more, or something else. Just something. Seemingly sudden.
It crests, it crashes, it crests again. Frstrating at times. But facinating. I enjoy undulation. Movement, expansion, momentum.
Lexi informed me that she was told by her Herbalist who learned from her Astrologist that current commotion is caused by the planets being aligned in such a way not seen since the 60's.
So many middle-men. We've wrangled the Universe into bureaucracy. It was only a matter of time.
Soon, paperwork. Oh, you better believe it.
Love is a hot topic this season as well. It fits, commotion and what-not. It may be the new black. Im curios then, whatever will become of the old black? Or the black before that?And still, the black before that? While Im on the topic of lost fads I'd like to inquire as to the disappearence of the kitten heel...the only thing I see it on anymore is flip flips.
Flip flops? Please. I sigh heavily. And laugh heartedly.
I wonder, with such potential changes, if now would not be the time to join a traveling circus. I could share a trailer with the bearded lady, or that torso guy while I pitch and un-pitch tents all over the country. I might even be able to invoke the acrobats of ancesty and be given a place to swing and fly and fall, preferably onto that fabulous net.
In any case, I should be able to sneak access to it at some point. I mean, Carnies gotta eat, right?
It crests, it crashes, it crests again. Frstrating at times. But facinating. I enjoy undulation. Movement, expansion, momentum.
Lexi informed me that she was told by her Herbalist who learned from her Astrologist that current commotion is caused by the planets being aligned in such a way not seen since the 60's.
So many middle-men. We've wrangled the Universe into bureaucracy. It was only a matter of time.
Soon, paperwork. Oh, you better believe it.
Love is a hot topic this season as well. It fits, commotion and what-not. It may be the new black. Im curios then, whatever will become of the old black? Or the black before that?And still, the black before that? While Im on the topic of lost fads I'd like to inquire as to the disappearence of the kitten heel...the only thing I see it on anymore is flip flips.
Flip flops? Please. I sigh heavily. And laugh heartedly.
I wonder, with such potential changes, if now would not be the time to join a traveling circus. I could share a trailer with the bearded lady, or that torso guy while I pitch and un-pitch tents all over the country. I might even be able to invoke the acrobats of ancesty and be given a place to swing and fly and fall, preferably onto that fabulous net.
In any case, I should be able to sneak access to it at some point. I mean, Carnies gotta eat, right?
Burn Burn Burn
I saw a most magnificent bug just a few days ago. It was a glowing, iridescent green. almost too green. Unreal. It had a beetle-like shell, but spider-like legs. It was short, and frantic in its movements. Perhaps because I was hovering over it at thousands of times it's size.
It acted rather as the doomed female in teenage slasher movies.
Stupid girl.
Why does she grab,of all things, a spatula from the kitchen on her way UPSTAIRS where she proceeds to lock herself in? That's Darwinism. You know what people like that are good for? Distraction. Enough time to get out of the house while the killer is going for the moron trapped on the second floor.
But back to the bug... It scurried arond in circles for a while before disappearing almost as suddenly as it had appeared.
I wondered then, would I see that bug again? I mean, I don't recall ever having seen one like it before.
And then I thought of all the bugs I didn't know. All the animals, the trees, the art, the flowers, the streets, the towns, and yes...the bars. All these things, ready for the taking. Almost begging me to grab on.
Where are my gripped gloves? The ones that match my sweet Brooklyn pumps...you know, the ones I never wear but like to put up on a viewable shelf. If I could find those gloves I bet Id wear the shoes more often.
\
It acted rather as the doomed female in teenage slasher movies.
Stupid girl.
Why does she grab,of all things, a spatula from the kitchen on her way UPSTAIRS where she proceeds to lock herself in? That's Darwinism. You know what people like that are good for? Distraction. Enough time to get out of the house while the killer is going for the moron trapped on the second floor.
But back to the bug... It scurried arond in circles for a while before disappearing almost as suddenly as it had appeared.
I wondered then, would I see that bug again? I mean, I don't recall ever having seen one like it before.
And then I thought of all the bugs I didn't know. All the animals, the trees, the art, the flowers, the streets, the towns, and yes...the bars. All these things, ready for the taking. Almost begging me to grab on.
Where are my gripped gloves? The ones that match my sweet Brooklyn pumps...you know, the ones I never wear but like to put up on a viewable shelf. If I could find those gloves I bet Id wear the shoes more often.
\
Flurries
I dreampt in sharp greys- as piercing as they were variable. Sweetly abrasive in tones of the infinite.
If I could have grabbed held of those shades and pulled them back with me, Id carry them around in my wallet.
Id vanish around a corner when an opportunity arose, and gaze inside it- giggling madly to myself.
In Brooklyn, no one would think anything of it. But small towns give peculiar stares.
If I could have grabbed held of those shades and pulled them back with me, Id carry them around in my wallet.
Id vanish around a corner when an opportunity arose, and gaze inside it- giggling madly to myself.
In Brooklyn, no one would think anything of it. But small towns give peculiar stares.
Speaking of Combustion...
Nothing in particular brought it on. Or, at least, nothing I remember .
A normal trip to work. Not unlike any other. 30 minute drive. Modest Mouse, probably.
But i it came to me with a ferocity Id not been prepared for.
A burning. Starting in my stomach, I think. I can't be sure as it spread so fast; to my chest, and then my face. And my mind jumped suddenly to all those stories of spontaneous combustion I'd heard about in grade school. The classroom arguements as to fact of stories. And I thought, Is this what it feels like? Just before it happens?
Will these internal flames burst free? Will they engulf my hair and flesh as they have my blood? My brain?
Will they consume me? Leave me to a pile of ash on smoldering upholstery?
It never happened, in case your wondering.
It faded as I entered the greenhouse. As everything fades there. No, it's not accurate. There is much growth. But not for that. Not there,
I am a water bearer, so the stars tell me. Well, not the stars. Rather, the people who interpret them.
The stars do not speak to me. They sing. In vibrating waves of photonic matter. They've never personally regailed me with tails of mermen pouring jugs of precious H2O. But perhaps my ears are not open enough.
(Is it sea water, I wonder, or fresh? Ive not heard anything either way.)
Water bound as I'm said to be, it is fire that entices me. That erratic flicker of searing heat preaches to me.
"You can never be completely lost. You are in here, somewhere. At least partly.
Watch, wait, listen , be still.", it orders me. Its voice calming, commanding.
"In my glow you can find your center".
And I can.
Whether above or below, always slightly to the left.
A normal trip to work. Not unlike any other. 30 minute drive. Modest Mouse, probably.
But i it came to me with a ferocity Id not been prepared for.
A burning. Starting in my stomach, I think. I can't be sure as it spread so fast; to my chest, and then my face. And my mind jumped suddenly to all those stories of spontaneous combustion I'd heard about in grade school. The classroom arguements as to fact of stories. And I thought, Is this what it feels like? Just before it happens?
Will these internal flames burst free? Will they engulf my hair and flesh as they have my blood? My brain?
Will they consume me? Leave me to a pile of ash on smoldering upholstery?
It never happened, in case your wondering.
It faded as I entered the greenhouse. As everything fades there. No, it's not accurate. There is much growth. But not for that. Not there,
I am a water bearer, so the stars tell me. Well, not the stars. Rather, the people who interpret them.
The stars do not speak to me. They sing. In vibrating waves of photonic matter. They've never personally regailed me with tails of mermen pouring jugs of precious H2O. But perhaps my ears are not open enough.
(Is it sea water, I wonder, or fresh? Ive not heard anything either way.)
Water bound as I'm said to be, it is fire that entices me. That erratic flicker of searing heat preaches to me.
"You can never be completely lost. You are in here, somewhere. At least partly.
Watch, wait, listen , be still.", it orders me. Its voice calming, commanding.
"In my glow you can find your center".
And I can.
Whether above or below, always slightly to the left.
Cluck-ing Away
Im getting that itch to move again.
It's one of those really annoying ones in the back of the throat. You know, you can't quite reach it with your tongue, but you try anyway. Forcing out a barroge of "Click, cluck, clakin" -ing noises you can only assume rival a Khoisan mating ritual...
Sure, you can try some old timey methods. You can drink pepper water, eat pineapple, or stand on your head and gargle.
I think maybe that last one is for hiccups.
But it's equally as effective. Which is to say, not at all.
The frustration, of course, lies mainly in the futile attempts to relieve.
It's one of those really annoying ones in the back of the throat. You know, you can't quite reach it with your tongue, but you try anyway. Forcing out a barroge of "Click, cluck, clakin" -ing noises you can only assume rival a Khoisan mating ritual...
Sure, you can try some old timey methods. You can drink pepper water, eat pineapple, or stand on your head and gargle.
I think maybe that last one is for hiccups.
But it's equally as effective. Which is to say, not at all.
The frustration, of course, lies mainly in the futile attempts to relieve.
Combustive
It's only rising. I search for answers, but find only more questions.
What are these faces around me? Why are these eyes empty? Blank. They startle my senses. Who is this stranger in the glass? This reflection of a half-self.
Void. Uncertain. Unknowing. Or knowing, rather, of all they don't know.
A battle of wanting. A slaughter. A desperate clutching of things once certain. Or maybe not. Maybe never. or maybe always. Then again... always until now.
Laughter reaches me, it is faded, dark. Far away. Is it me? I cannot feel my words.
I ache for combustion. Deliver unto me the wrath of exposure.
What are these faces around me? Why are these eyes empty? Blank. They startle my senses. Who is this stranger in the glass? This reflection of a half-self.
Void. Uncertain. Unknowing. Or knowing, rather, of all they don't know.
A battle of wanting. A slaughter. A desperate clutching of things once certain. Or maybe not. Maybe never. or maybe always. Then again... always until now.
Laughter reaches me, it is faded, dark. Far away. Is it me? I cannot feel my words.
I ache for combustion. Deliver unto me the wrath of exposure.
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