"Zuh?" is for..."Zombies"?

I had an interesting lesson in violent male bonding dynamics last night. Two best friends, who swear they are closer to each other now because of this game, sat facing in folding chairs while each took turns punching the other in the jaw.


Oh yes, you read that correctly. It was disgustingly fascinating. They were so cordial.

"Okay man, which side, left or right? Okay, you ready? This side? Okay. You sure your ready?"

Pop!

And the room would go up in a roar. I sat there, shaking my head but unable to turn away. For round one, anyhow. By round two, however, I relocated to the kitchen, but found myself pacing and turning back to see.

There was no hate behind it. Not anything being truly directed at the other person. No bad blood.

And they'd shake it off and let the other take their turn. They sat only inches from each other. They really did seem to be bonding over it, oddly.

Like a tamer version of Fight Club.

And I turned to my brother and the rest of his friends, asking if this something all guys did, as Id never been privy to witness such a thing before.

As if it was odd that I was asking this question, they rolled in laughter and assured me it was not.

The one sat talking, with his jaw beginning to swell, tonguing his teeth in search of blood, about Zombie invasions. A book, I must now read, called World War Z, fascinated me. Written by Mel Brooks' son (Whose name, i apologize, I cannot remember), it is a compilation of first hand accounts of zombie attack survivals during the great zombie invasion of something like 2013.

The other, who had located blood on his battered right side, laughed as a plan of escape was being mapped out by his brother in bruises.

But this is a serious matter, you know. And so i turned to him and said quite frankly, "Oh no, you have to have a plan in the event of a zombie attack"

He did not agree with the seriousness of the situation, or so I gathered from the odd stare which accompanied his acknowledgment of my focused tone.

But bloodless over there, his eyes more red than a Rossetti girl's hair, jumped in excitement that another recognized this very probable threat.

Fear not my siblings in Zombie awareness, there are others all over. We must determine meeting places for when the time comes.

Sadly, the place to be at the Zombie Apocalypse (in absence of a well stocked, well quarantined military base) is going to be Walmart. Preferably in a small town. And before they open. Certainly not one of those 24 hour monstrosities . But one without any active personnel.

I mean, they've got weapons, ammo, food, televisions, camcorders, first aid, bathrooms. No showers, that is true enough, but it is strongly locked down, once the glass doors and windows are secured. And surely, even if surrounded by zombies, in a pinch, there will probably be at least one or two cars in the parking lot or nearby. All in all not a bad set-up

And you know what car would be wise to find? Thats right, none other than the environmentally thrashing Hummer.

These thoughts keep me up at night.

That, and the sound of jaws popping.