I'm not meant for the world of modeling. For more than one reason, my darling baby brother tells me. One of which is that I don't take direction well.

There was a photo shoot at the house yesterday. My brother Pat needed models for his knitting. I obliged, begrudgingly, because... well, he's my brother.

Baby brother, "Hollywood", was in charge of the photographs seeing as he's got the modeling and shooting experience. He demanded that I wear make-up.

"Like lipstick and mascara and all that?" I asked. He sighed heavily. "Yes. You have to wear make-up for photographs" he said. I Barely remembered how to curl my eyelashes. It's not that I don't wear make-up, Ive just never been told to.

Putting me in full sun right at the peak of afternoon, he told me to look up. Right into that fiery ball.

"But its burning my retinas, man" I told him. But this fell on deaf ears.

"No, keep your head up! UP! And open your eyes, fuck! Stand here. No, HERE! ok, your at a party, your having fun. No, fun! Where are you looking? And stop laughing! Put down your margarita! Stop drinking!"

No laughing, no drinking? What the hell kind of party is this? I can't work under these conditions.
Of course, He's my little brother, so I couldn't in good conscience listen to anything he told me. And in addition to that, he's an awfully mean photographer. So I got myself a refill on my margarita and continued to laugh with the other amateur models that make up my family. There was much heavy sighing coming from little brother. We were all very unprofessional, you see. Oh, except for him, of course.

He divulged to me that while working with models, its very important to tell them how beautiful they are every few shots. But he did not do this with me and my sister. "Perhaps that is why you are getting such a poor performance from us", I told him.

Fortunately, Pat was much more accommodating and was happy to keep the margaritas and jokes flowing.

The brothers left last night. But Hollywood's ego can still be felt. Its oozing from the walls of mom's Sun Lakes home.

Oh, but I do love him so. And perhaps one day he'll chill out and return to reality. But I have my doubts, for as long as he lives in LA, anyhow.