The Modern Masochist

Okay, so there is this bathroom appliance out there called Epilady. Ladies, Im sure you've heard of this sadistic grooming tool.

For you unaware male readers, an Epilady is a nifty little invention which is basically a series of tweezers torqued up and used to mercilessly rip the hair on the legs straight from the follicle.

It does NOT come with single serving doses of morphine.

What a world!

My mother had the original model when i was a kid. Back then, it worked on coils which snagged the hair as it vibrated. This newer model, as i said, is just a bunch of tiny tweezers.

It is equally as painful as I remember the original being.

The newer model does offer a sort of safety feature for people like me. When leaning over it, it will not grab hold of any dangling hair from your head, rip it out and entrap it in it's cruel metal jaws.

In my panic to one such occurrence, I cut off my tangled hair and shoved the Epilady, clumps of hair and all, back under my moms counter. I then sauntered out of the room with a lopsided hair-do and a non nonchalant look on my face.

As one of only 2 red heads, Im fairly certain I was pegged for this.

But then, mom was used to finding clumps of my hair all over the house.

This contraption, whose tagline in ads should read "The appliance for the modern masochist!", provides slow release pain in bi-monthly installments.

All for your convenience.