"My brain is trying to kill me" --The Wise Calvin

You ever get the feeling your mind is trying to sabotage you?

I'm reminded of that Calvin and Hobbes strip where he is sitting at the top of a hill on his sled and he's telling himself: "Go ahead down. You'll miss all those trees. You can do it. You'll stop before you go over that ledge at the bottom. You won't go into that pond. Besides, the ice is probably real thick anyway. Go ahead down." And then he turns to the reader in classic Calvin style and says "My brain is trying to kill me. "

Well, I don't actually think my brain is trying to kill me. I imagine it would be quite bored without a body to do it's bidding.

But my mind and I have been at odds lately.

Its a bit like dorm life, I imagine. You know, you're sitting there trying to study for an exam and the people across the hall are having an almost-graduation blow out. Its hard enough to concentrate with the walls thumping, but then in wanders this drunk girl who starts messing with all your shit.

"No, wait...No, don't touch that!...please put that down...no no no no! What are you doing??"

Its not really that you're angry about the loud music or the girl passed out on your bed, as long as she's quiet, but you can't help but feel a little jealous that they are doing the things you want to do.

Oh god...what is that? Fuck, did that girl throw up in your sink??

The toilet is 2 feet away!!!

Its not really quite that bad. I'm significantly more aligned than the past month or so. But I'm combative with myself. Disruptive. Agitated. Or antsy, anyway. Poking myself almost constantly.

And I'm starting to get a welt.