And there is a hornet after my Vanilla coffee. It hovers just a few inches from my face, but seems unphased by the size of the creature in front of it. And now I must take this pesky creature outside before Vogue comes out, sees it, freaks, and destroys it.
I tell her, "Just get me. Ill take care of it for you." Better that I capture the spiders and wasps than she does. But in her panic, she does not always think to call for me.
My only hope to save them is to get to them before she does.
Today I am on the schedual for an "Ionic Foot Bath". I haven't a clue what it is. Other than that it is a bath for the feet that may or may not contain ions...
Im told it is used for cleansing the body of impurities. And I wonder, if my body is cleaned of all its precious impurities, what will be left of me?
I saw my first bear the other night. This trip has become a haven for "firsts". It came right up to the front door while I sat at the kitchen table talking on the phone. I thought at first it was a neighbor dog, one I had not yet seen. A very large, fluffy, neighborhood dog.
But as my eyes adjusted to the dark I realized it was a mid sized brown bear. Not quite a baby, not nearly an adult. I cut off the other half of the phone mid story as I jumped to my feet and filled the house with a shriek of excitement at the very first bear I had ever seen outside of those depressing zoo settings.
Vogue came running down the stairs then, and the dogs followed with their hair raised, catching on now to the chaos taking place just outside the door.But in her frantic pounding down the stairs, and the dogs fierce howls of territorial display, it turned itself around and waddled down the porch stairs. I began to open the door- just a crack, mind you- to get a clearer view of the pudgy little critter now half way down the driveway.
But Vogue slammed it shut, yelling at me to stay away. Well, it hardly looked harmful. Even if it had come charging towards the house, it would never have made it to me before I got inside and shut the door behind me, I reasoned.
I only wanted to pet its fuzzy head, after all. I mean, Ive got two arms. Surely I dont need them both.
She told me repeatedly not to open that door again. She shook her finger in my face as if I were a naughty child, and her a mother on her last nerve.
"Okay, okay...Chill out" I told her, placating her as I would any irritated parental unit. I then waited for her to go back upstairs before opening the door and stepping out onto the porch for a cigarette. But the bear was long gone by then.
I named it Pudge-Butt McWaddles and I hope to catch it one more time before it fades into hibernation for the winter.
I thank you, Colorado, for giving me so many things to write home about.
